#FlashFiction Challenge: Night Life

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Every Friday, Changeling Press posts a new flash fiction challenge. Check out http://changelingpress.wordpress.com/

Here’s my contribution to the October 24 #FlashFiction Challenge: Night Life
posted in Flash Fiction Challenge by Zenobia Renquist and Theme by Sara Jay

ffc-24oct_nightlife

THEME:
Choose your favorite cryptozoological creature and put him/her in a night club. Now what?

“What’s a chupacabra doing at Red?” Del pointed at the three foot tall creature shimmying on the dance floor to the soulless technopunk music. The quills protruding from the top of its head to the base of its tail swayed like a field of wheat in the wind.

“There aren’t any goats here but I see plenty of sheep.” Astrid guzzled her Chardonnay.

“I doubt it bleeds human sheep. It must like twenty dollar martinis.”

The crypid’s black alien eyes fixed on her.

“I think he’s checking me out.” Astrid preened.

“Like you’d dump me for a goat sucker.”

“I’d rather get freaky with a Yeti, but he is kinda cute.” She blew the chupacabra a kiss, shook her hips and headed toward the creature. “See you around, Squid boy.”

Del shrugged and wrapped a tentacle around the blonde sitting on the stool next to him. “Buy you a drink?”

Learn more about Sara Jay:
Website – http://sarajayserotica.wordpress.com/
Twitter – https://twitter.com/SaraJaysErotica
Facebook – http://www.facebook.com/sarajayschmidt
Titles at Changeling Press – http://www.changelingpress.com/author.php?uid=174

#FlashFiction Challenge: Eat Me

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This challenge gives me the opportunity to celebrate the release of John Wick and share my Keanu Reeves obsession with the world.

Every Friday, Changeling Press posts a new flash fiction challenge. Check out http://changelingpress.wordpress.com/

Here’s my contribution to the August 29 #FlashFiction Challenge: Eat Me
posted in Flash Fiction Challenge by Zenobia Renquist and Theme by Julia Talbot

Learn more about Julia Talbot:
Website – http://www.juliatalbot.com/
Twitter – https://twitter.com/juliatalbot
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/juliatalbotauthor
Titles at Changeling Press – http://www.changelingpress.com/author.php?uid=66

ffc-eat_me
THEME:
There’s a bottle on your kitchen counter with a pill in it. The bottle is labeled Eat Me. What happens?

I shake the bottle labeled “eat me” over my mouth and swallow the tablet unsure if I’ll end up in the Matrix or down the rabbit hole. Hoping for Keanu Reeves over the Mad Hatter, I wait.

Every nerve ending sings and the sensation drops me to my knees. I giggle imagining opening credits proclaiming “Lily’s Excellent Adventure.”

It takes all my energy, but I shimmy out of my shorts, tank top and underwear. “Keanu? Bill? Ted? Um, Socrates?”

I was ready. Hell, I saw “Ronin 47” in 3-D so I could imagine Keanu up close and personal. Where was he? “Keanu?”

“Jeepers, Lil.” My neighbor stands over me, a horrified look on her face. “Were you watching Point Break again?”

“It would have been most excellent if he were actually here.”

“Get dressed. We need to find you a support group or something.”

“Bogus, dude,” I reply.

#FlashFiction Challenge: Last Call

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Every Friday, Changeling Press posts a new flash fiction challenge. Check out http://changelingpress.wordpress.com/

Here’s my contribution to the August 15 #FlashFiction Challenge: Last Call
posted in Flash Fiction Challenge by Zenobia Renquist and Theme by Stephanie Burke.

ffc-last_call

THEME:
A cowboy, a monk, and an incubus (succubus works too) all walk into a bar… This is not a joke. They walk into the bar and head straight for you with a proposition you can’t refuse…

I peek around Mr. Tall, Dark and Way-Too-Sexy-To-Be-Human. “What’s with Friar Tuck and the Marlboro Man? Did you guys step out of a lame joke?”

The warm breath of the incubus tickles my ear and I fight off the powers of his pheromones. Alcohol was my drug tonight. Not sex.

“We need your telepathy.” He drops an uncut diamond on my cocktail napkin. “Reveal which of us has double crossed the others.”

“Bourbon. Leave the bottle.” I shout to the barman and place my palm on the forehead of the incubus.

A porn movie featuring the incubus, a water nymph and satyr runs in my head accompanied with a Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow soundtrack. When a unicorn gallops in, I break the connection. Yikes.

I sift through the monk’s thoughts next. Other than an obsession with Japanese anime cats, berry wine coolers and Jenga, he’s clean.

Before I can connect with cowboy guy, he draws a knife and exits the bar, the incubus on his heels.

The monk sits down next to me.

I slide the jewel into my pocket and order him a Zima, ready to hear his strange tale and talk Hello Kitty afterwards.

#FlashFiction Challenge: Car or Crazy

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Every Friday, Changeling Press posts a new flash fiction challenge. Check out http://changelingpress.wordpress.com/

Here’s my contribution to the July 18 #FlashFiction Challenge: Car or Crazy
posted in Flash Fiction Challenge by Zenobia Renquist and Theme by Stephanie Burke.

ffc-car_crazy

Screaming at last night’s hockey game made my voice scratchy. I sing along with the radio anyway. So what if I sound like a stray cat in heat.

I add a jaunty head bob. It’s butt early and my oxygen blue Mini Cooper is one of the few cars heading north on Lake Shore Drive.

A bumper sticker and the hickies covering my torso proclaim me a Chicago Wolves super fan. I ramp up team spirit by having pre-game locker room sex with the defensemen. Nothing gets my blood pumping like the D-men, who don’t mind spending time in my penalty box.

“Slut.” The insult hits me like a slap.

Is my itty bitty car daring to pass judgment?

“Behave or I won’t take you to the charity car wash. One more word and you’ll miss out on having a dozen shirtless hockey players soaping you up.”

Silence.

Thought so.

#FlashFiction Challenge: Rewrites

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Every Friday, Changeling Press posts a new flash fiction challenge. Check out http://changelingpress.wordpress.com/

Here’s my contribution to the July 11 #FlashFiction Challenge: Rewrites
posted in Flash Fiction Challenge by Zenobia Renquist and Theme by Shelby Morgen.

ffc-rewrites

#FlashFiction Challenge: Rewrites
THEME:
Your characters are tired of you ordering them to have sex with everyone else — they’ve decided your sex life needs work, and they’re writing you into their scene.

“I’ve done everything and everyone you asked me to, infernal human,” a velvety voice whispered in my ear. “Now it’s my turn to order you about.”

Xanthe leaned against my chair, her ruby skin shimmering.

“But….” I typed faster hoping to summon her back into the scene I was writing.

“You made me an insatiable nyphomanic lust demon.” Her tail whipped against my desk. “And you gave Balthazar a foot fetish.”

I shrugged. “That’s kind of my job.”

She scanned the condo. “Where’s the stud muffin?”

“Mr. Vega?”

“Yes, unless you have a pool boy or girl stashed around here.” Her gaze locked onto my toaster. “Do you have any smaller appliances?”

I didn’t like where this was headed. “Don’t you want your happy ever after?”

Her face transformed into an expression of wonder reserved for little girls holding kittens. “A HEA for me?”

“Yes, you deserve a great one.”